Six Essential Tricks for Raising Well-Behaved Children

Six Essential Tricks for Raising Well-Behaved Children

If there’s one thing every parent wants, it’s well-behaved children.
Whether our reasons are selfish (they are easier to raise!) or selfless (it prepares them for life), pretty much every parent would agree: we want our kids to behave!
If your children haven’t been on their best behavior lately and you’d like to change that sooner rather than later, these six tips can help.

 Equip Yourself

When I was pregnant with my first child, I seriously read pretty much every single book in the library about babies, parenting, sleep, etc. After all, why would I want to stumble through parenting making lots of mistakes when I could learn from those who had done it already? As a result, I got a TON of great advice that really impacted my parenting in a positive way.

 Be Clear In Your Expectations

How can your children behave appropriately if you don’t first tell them what appropriate behavior is? Young children don’t automatically know how to behave at church. in the library or at a restaurant–you have to spell it out for them, preferably before you get there.

For example, on the way to church, you might say: “We are headed to church. Church is a place where people go to worship God, and they don’t want to be distracted by little children running, talking or playing. At church, we sit in our seats and are quiet and still. After church is over, we will go to the park, and you can run and be noisy there.”

 Obviously, the exact wording you use will depend on the age of your child and whether you’ve already been over the routine before.

Teach Them How to Perform Essential Actions

Just because your children know what they are supposed to do doesn’t automatically mean that they know how to do it. Take cleaning their room, for example. While the concept may be simple for you, it can be completely overwhelming for a small child who doesn’t know where to start.

Whether you want your child to sit still, make his bed, brush her teeth or wait politely while you talk on the phone, you will probably need to show your child how. At least, if you want the task done correctly.

The first step in this process is telling your children exactly what you need them to do, but that’s only the first step.

You also have to give good directions, set the right consequences and follow through in a timely and consistent manner. Raising well-behaved kids requires a lot of work and follow through,  but it’s worth it!

Be Consistent

When it comes to discipline, consistency is key. Otherwise, if you get in the habit of ignoring behaviors or giving in to demands, your children will learn that all they have to do is act up and they will get their way. Once you set rules, stick to them.

Consistency may be difficult at first–you may feel like the worst mother in the world–but once your children see that you mean what you say, they will have no reason to fight you on it. This can help behavior tremendously.

And once you do this over time, it becomes second nature for everyone.

Model Excellent Behavior Yourself

Honestly, I think one of that hardest parts of parenting is simply remembering to model excellent behavior yourself. All of us have issues we struggle with, and kids sure seem to have a knack for picking them up and repeating them at the most inappropriate times!

It only makes sense, though. If your child sees that you yell when you are frustrated, he will learn to do the same. If your child sees that you are rude to pretty much everyone, she will learn to do the same. After all, how can a child learn a life skill that they haven’t seen modeled?

It’s always a good check for me to hear the words and tone coming out of my children’s mouths and to know that they got them from me. Am I saying words and behaving in a way that I want them to repeat?

6. Hand Out Grace as Needed

When is the last time you went an entire day without making any mistakes? If you’re like most people, it’s probably been a while! It should come as no surprise then that our children will make plenty of mistakes as well. After all, we know the rules; they are still learning.

It isn’t your job to be perfect and it isn’t your child’s job either. You both need grace, love and acceptance, no matter how many times you mess up. Parenting isn’t about being perfect, and it isn’t about raising perfect kids either. As long as you’re doing your best, chances are you and your children are going to turn out just fine. And these six tips will help .